How To Save A Life
by Rayniekinnz
Summary: 'Sirius Black meets a stranger on the train.' Muggle!AU. Preslash. Christmas fic for NeonDomino.


****How To Save A Life  
><strong>****22 December 1982**

"—hello? Hello? Sir?"

Sirius Black started awake, automatically throwing his arm out to protect himself. His hand brushed something soft before he snatched it back, chest heaving as he stared into wide green eyes.

The man slowly backed away, holding his hands up to show he meant no harm. Sirius swallowed thickly and nodded to convey – something. He wasn't sure what, but he couldn't catch his breath back to speak either. He jerked his head to the side, groaning when sharp twinges of pain immediately greeted him. He ignored it for that second and looked around desperately, unable to remember how he had ended up…on a train?

He looked back at the man who had woken him, giving him a quick glance-over. He didn't look like any type of law enforcement and he wasn't wearing the uniform he guessed anyone working on the train had to have. Judging by his worn clothes and taped-up Walkman, he wasn't in any position to tell Sirius off for loitering somewhere warm in the middle of winter.

"Are you okay?" The man asked, voice quiet and even, as if not to offend him. "Do you need medical assistance?"

Sirius frowned at him, brows furrowing as he tried to understand. He lifted a hand to his face in frustration and hissed as his fingers came into contact with his crusting split-lip. Now that he had re-discovered it, he was suddenly aware of all the aches and pains in his body. Grinding his teeth together, he hauled himself onto his feet and was proud when he only teetered for a short second before catching his balance.

"No," he said finally, when it was apparent the man was waiting for an answer. He resisted the urge to make a face at how hoarse his voice sounded, knowing it would only irritate his wounds further.

The man nodded, eyeing him in a way he wasn't sure he liked very much. His eyes were softer than Sirius was used to, filled with emotions he _knew_ he didn't like very much. Pity – or perhaps sympathy? – and some kind of _understanding_ dominating.

He opened his mouth to stomp all over the git's ideas about pitying him, but was interrupted by that soft voice. The man nodded towards the compartment door, mousy brown hair brushing his cheekbones as the hood of his coat pulled back a few inches.

"The train just pulled in for the night, so you need to leave unless you want some security guards chasing you off."

"Who are you?" Sirius demanded, filing away his words for later. He _didn't_ want to be chased off by some old brutes, for the record. How else would he have gotten the split-lip?

The man frowned at him, perhaps a bit startled by the question. But he answered nonetheless, not offering his hand but giving a little shrug that could have been taken as a friendly gesture. "Lupin – Remus Lupin. I don't work here or anything, if that's what you're thinking. I was sitting here when you got on a couple of hours ago and figured I should give you some warning before security comes in to do a sweep."

"Where are we?" He shot off next, feeling more than a little insecure standing there, arms creeping around his chest in a poor attempt at shielding himself.

"London," Lupin shrugged again, then glanced down and shook his sleeve back from his bony wrist to reveal an old-fashioned watch. "Look, I need to go. It's almost nine, so you should probably find some other place to sleep. I'd offer my couch, but I don't think you'd be all that impressed."

Sirius stared at him blankly, slowly dropping his arms. Lupin paused, already at the door, apparently seeing something in his expression that was enough to make him hesitate.

"You'd let me sleep on your couch?" He wasn't _hopeful_ – he was _incredulous_! What sort of idiot whored out their couch to complete strangers?! Especially strangers who hadn't bathed in days, had little more than a duffle-bag filled with the absolute necessities to their name and had briefly considered stealing their watch?!

…okay, he obviously didn't know about that last one, but still!

"If you needed it," Lupin said slowly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You really don't remember me, do you, Sirius Black? We went to the same High-School. I think we even had a mutual friend – Lily Evans? I'll admit it's been quite a few years since then, but I didn't think I was _that_ unremarkable."

Sirius felt a bit like he had had too many surprises for one day. He merely stared at the other man, mind humming absently as if he hadn't just been told someone he knew had seen him in such a humiliating position.

But Lupin wasn't laughing, nor did he look as if he were about to rush off and tell everyone he knew that _the_ Sirius Black, Common Playground Bully and Rich Kid was sleeping on trains because he didn't have anywhere else to go.

"Remus Lupin," he muttered to himself, sure the same sounded familiar but unable to connect it to anything, even with the man standing before him.

"Does '_Lupus Lupin_' help?" Lupin asked dryly, eyebrow arched and expression flat. His hand was on the door, beat-up boot half in and half out.

As much as it would shame Sirius later on, mentioning the old 'nickname' _did_ help. Images immediately flashed across his mind – images of a skinny brown-haired kid with a bright red rash stretching across his cheeks, accentuating his facial scars. Sirius had never really paid him any mind – he had done some crappy things in school, but picking on the sick kid was completely off-limits – though he had never stood up for him either. While he had some standards, there were plenty of others who thought the situation was too hilarious to ignore.

Sirius looked up, eyes a little wider than usual. His first thought was that the rash was gone – no, it had just lightened in colour? – but his mind quickly skipped onto the fact that Lupin was leaving. More time had passed than he realised when he was lost in his thoughts, he guessed.

"Wait!" he called out, throat burning and voice cracking with the force. He hated how pathetic, how desperate he sounded, but he knew it would be silly to let such an opportunity go. Lupin had been friends with Lily – he must be a good guy, right? And it's not as if Sirius would be taking advantage of him; it would just be for one night!

…for some reason, he felt like a complete arsehole.

Still, he was hungry and sore and having a semi-safe – he wasn't _completely_ convinced Lupin wouldn't try to slit his throat – place to sleep would be great. Even just for one night.

"Yes?" Lupin asked, voice lilting impatiently. Voices could be heard somewhere down the train and Sirius quickly grabbed his bag from under his seat, clenching the strap in his hand and swinging it over his shoulder.

He wobbled a few steps forward, sucking in a deep breath when Lupin shot him a look over his shoulder. He wouldn't call the look annoyed, but it wasn't as polite and soft as Lupin had seemed moments earlier.

"Look…if—if you're still offering…could I stay with you?" He hurried to add on, "Just for the night! I'll be gone in the morning and I won't ever bother you again!"

He immediately wanted to slap himself for sounding so stupid, but resisted and tried to look as sincere as he could.

Lupin seemed a bit sceptical, but had been nodding since he started speaking. "Yes, fine. Come, we need to leave before they find us loitering. Or worse, they _don't_ find us and we're locked in for the night."

Sirius was the adventurous type, but being stuck on a train all night didn't exactly sound like his type of fun. At least, not when he felt like death warmed up on a plate.

He quickly followed Lupin out of the compartment and out of the closest exit, ignoring the accusing looks a few employees gave them as they hurried away. The station was still bustling with activity and soon they were lost in the crowd, some backing away when they noticed Sirius' unbathed state and others seeming not to notice at all. Soon they were out on the street, the cold immediately setting in for both of them.

"I live a few blocks from here," Lupin said before he could even think to ask, absently patting his pockets. He tucked his Walkman – upon closer inspection, Sirius realised it was actually a Stowaway – into his coat and pulled the collar up despite the scarf wrapped around his neck.

Sirius merely nodded when Lupin looked his way, trailing after him when he started moving again. He glanced towards the sky, studying the darkness with a detached sort of interest as snow-flakes fell softly around them. A thick silence settled in between them, but Sirius could honestly say it wasn't actually all that uncomfortable. He had a feeling Lupin wasn't the chatty type, anyway.

He turned to look at the back of Lupin's head a few minutes later, vaguely aware of how his shoes crunched into the thin layer of snow on the ground. He was wearing a dark woollen coat, a thin hooded sweater underneath, up and over his head. He couldn't see from that angle, but he was sure his mousy hair was still sticking out the front.

Sirius ignored the little voice that said it was cute.

* * *

><p>They had probably been walking for ten minutes or so, mostly in silence, when Lupin nodded towards a dull red-brick building. His hand slipped down to his trouser-pocket and Sirius heard the jingle of keys.<p>

"I'm on the third floor," Lupin announced, before glancing side-ways at him. "Just so you know, it's not very big or glamourous, or anything. But it works."

"Yeah," Sirius muttered, not sure how he was supposed to respond. If he was being honest, he was used to luxury and riches, but sleeping on trains and in alcoves for the last two weeks had taught him some humility. He doubted the flat could be worse than some of the places he had crashed in.

They entered the building, Lupin pausing to greet an elderly woman collecting her post before they started climbing the stairs. The building was pretty old and didn't have elevators, apparently. Normally Sirius wouldn't mind, but he was winded after the first flight. If Lupin noticed, he didn't mention it.

Sirius was holding his side when they finally got to the third-floor, alternating between glaring fiercely at the walls, floor and stairs and bemoaning his bad luck. Only _his_ family would disown someone during the giving season! Merry _fucking_ Christmas!

Lupin took out his keys at a simple brown door – number twelve, ironically – and pushed it open, stepping aside and motioning for Sirius to go in first. He shuffled inside, glancing around the dim interior as he toed off his shoes like Lupin asked.

The lights were flicked on as Lupin walked deeper into his flat, nodding towards two other doors. "The bathroom and my bedroom. Make yourself at home. I was going to make a sandwich or something for dinner, if you want to go shower."

"Letting me loose in your flat?" Sirius joked, though his voice was flat. "Aren't you afraid I might rob you?"

Lupin snorted, heading for the small kitchen area. "Go ahead! I have nothing of value lying around, but I shall applaud your attempts."

Sirius was somewhat surprised at the good humour in his voice, a small smile tugging reluctantly at his mouth. He shook his head and slowly dropped his bag onto the floor, not sure if he should put it on the couch. Though, looking at the scuffed furniture, it probably wouldn't make much of a difference. Glancing around, he couldn't help but think Lupin hadn't been exaggerating or modest. The place really was small and unspectacular, though obviously cared for.

"Er, I'd like to use your shower, if you don't mind…"

"Not at all," Lupin said, not turning around. "I _did_ suggest it. If you leave your clothes at the door, I'll put them through the wash for you. We're probably around the same size, so you can wear something of mine until they're dry. Unless you have an extra set?"

"I don't," Sirius said, taken aback. Unable to help himself, he blurted out, "Are you always this…nice?"

"What?" Lupin asked, a laugh escaping his throat. He glanced at him over his shoulder, the orangey fridge-light not exactly flattering his already pale complexion. "Offering to wash your clothes is…nice?"

"Not just that," Sirius said impatiently, not liking being laughed at. "Letting me stay, the whole shebang. We don't even really know each other. I could be a mass-murderer for all you know! I could have just escaped from prison!"

"Oh, really?" Lupin asked, sounding amused, but also tired, curiously. "And what prison would this be? Must be pretty high-up, since I've seen nothing in the papers abo ut mass-murderer Sirius Black escaping."

His mouth flapped silently as he tried to come up with something to say, but he shook his head then and waved a hand dismissively. "The point is! You're just letting me stay here and I don't…get it, I guess. Never-mind. I probably sound ungrateful."

"You do," Lupin said, back to him, though Sirius thought he was probably smirking. He was quiet for a few long minutes, the sounds of his sandwich-building and the soft humming of the fridge filling the flat. Finally, he said softly, "If you want me to say it, I will: you looked really pathetic there, sleeping on the train. When you first got on, I thought you were some drunkard, but then as I studied you longer I realised who you were. I was a bit shocked, of course, but it's really none of my business how to you came to be so…"

"Pathetic?" Sirius asked dryly, not sure how to feel. He had never been good at "feelings". At that moment, he could only describe a bone-deep weariness he thought he would never experience.

"…well, no, but that works too. Anyway, I thought I might as well do my good deed for the year. You know, it being Christmas and all."

Sirius took a moment to reply, staring at a stain on the edge of the sofa. "I have a feeling you've done plenty good deeds this year." Then, barely audible, "I appreciate it, anyway."

Lupin said nothing, but Sirius thought he heard it, loud and clear.

He cleared his throat and shuffled awkwardly out from the lounge-area, towards the bathroom door. "I'll just go take that shower."

"Leave your clothes by the door," Lupin reminded him. Sirius called back something like "okay" and entered the bathroom, flipping the switch and squinting as the fluorescent lights beamed off off-white tiles.

It was small and a bit cramped, but very clean, for which he was grateful. He wasn't the tidiest guy around, but as he had said, he had been taught some humility as well as a new appreciation for how spotless the bathrooms had been at his parents' place.

He shrugged out of his filthy clothes and left them in a pile at the door, moving to the shower slash bath and turning on the water. The knobs were a bit tricky to figure out at first, but he got it to a nice temperature and got under the spray. A moment later he heard the door creak open and saw the outline of Lupin scooping up his clothes through the shower-curtain.

The door closed again and he closed his eyes, leaning his head back and letting the water soak into his hair. He hadn't felt so at peace with himself in a long time.

* * *

><p>He hadn't noticed before but Lupin had left some clothes in place of his soiled ones, saving him from walking around in a towel like an idiot. He pulled them on without much thought to how he would look – for once.<p>

He had been given dark grey pyjama-bottoms and a long-sleeved shirt, both which were a bit tight but long enough. He hadn't noticed, but he supposed they must have been more or less the same height.

He found some first-aid things in the overhead cabinet and cleaned himself up a bit, figuring Lupin wouldn't mind.

After drying his hair as best as he could with the towel, he hung it up on the rail and left the bathroom, feeling a bit more comfortable than he had when first arriving.

"Do they fit alright?" Lupin asked, glancing up from where he was sitting in one of the armchairs. He had a book in one hand and a sandwich in the other, plate balanced on his lap and feet propped up on the coffee-table.

"Yeah, thanks," Sirius said, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. His eyes automatically fell on the sandwich, but he quickly averted his gaze, not wanting to seem rude or greedy.

Lupin turned back to his book, gesturing in the vague direction of the kitchenette. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so it's just a plain ham and cheese. There's crisps on the counter and soft drinks in the fridge. Tea and coffee is in the cabinets, if you want to rifle around."

"That's fine," Sirius said, shuffling towards where he could see his sandwich waiting for him. He hesitated a moment before 'rifling around', finding the coffee and mugs easily enough. He put the kettle on and politely offered a cuppa to Lupin, who declined mildly.

Two minutes later the water was ready and then he was shuffling back to the lounge, perching on the edge of the sofa and taking a sip of his plain black coffee to distract himself. Lupin was reading, but he couldn't help but think there was some kind of expectancy hanging between them, as if they had been in the middle of a conversation.

Sirius was too hungry to pick at his sandwich as he might have any other time – a nervous habit he wasn't quite fond of – so he nibbled along the sides and tried not to look as if he were scarfing it down. He didn't want to make himself sick, either. He had been eating whenever he could, which was a lot less than one would think. He had money on him, but it had been quite rapidly declining in value and he wasn't even halfway to where he needed to be.

"You can turn on the telly, if you want," Lupin said quietly, somehow not startling him badly enough to spill his coffee or choke. He was glancing up at him over his book, expression open and friendly.

"No, it's fine," Sirius said, looking down at his mostly-eaten sandwich and crisps. Then, as if he had just noticed, "You're awfully quiet."

"I've been told," Lupin nodded, closing his book and sitting it on his chest. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

_How about the fact that I can usually chat up a lamp-post, but seem to have no words around you? _"Not really. Just surprised you don't want to ask me any questions, I guess."

"Well, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable," Lupin said, a strange mix between joking and serious. "It doesn't bother me, either way. It's not my business and as long as you don't give me a reason to suspect you, I'm happy to let you go on as you wish. Though, I would like to ask one thing."

"Yes?" He asked, perhaps a bit _too_ eagerly. It bothered him that someone could be so – well, _un-curious_. Should it be anyone else, they would be lapping at the drama, hanging onto his every word as he explained the dilemma! Not that he wanted that, though. He appreciated Lupin's need-to-know attitude.

"Do you have a destination, or are you just wandering around?" Lupin asked, a frown tugging at his mouth. "I don't mean to sound condescending, but if I were in your position – which is homeless and unemployed, I assume – I would want to find shelter and an income in any way I could."

Sirius had to think over the words, nodding along towards the end. He sighed and fiddled with a stray crisp, not for the first time that day realising he was acting so un-like himself. "I'm trying to make my way over to my mate James' place," he admitted, shaking his head and laughing dryly. "It's just been…well, a lot harder than I first thought. I don't even know where he lives, see. He moved out of his parents' house around the same time I was – kicked out of mine. I don't know his new number, nor his parents' by heart. I only know that he was looking for a place out in Liverpool."

He didn't look up, for some reason scared of the reaction he might get. Would Lupin laugh? He really did sound like an idiot, especially with the lost little lamb quality his bloody voice had taken on.

Lupin didn't laugh. "James Potter?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, surprised at the strange tone Lupin had adopted. He peeked up from under his fringe, meeting an expression he wasn't sure how to decipher.

He looked as if he wanted to laugh, but not in the 'you stupid sod' way Sirius had been afraid of. No, it was more of an ironic 'this will be a great story to tell one day'. Lupin stood and walked towards the kitchen, shuffling through some envelopes on the counter before returning to his seat, tossing one his way.

"What's this?" Sirius asked, confused.

"I'm still friends with Lily Evans," Lupin said, smiling and shaking his head. "Quite close friends, actually. I'm sure you know she and Potter moved into a flat together? Well, when they did, she sent me the address and their telephone number."

Sirius gaped at him, eyes snapping from Lupin to the envelope and back again several times before he quickly pulled back the flap – it had already been opened, long ago – and pulling the letter out. He skipped to the part where Lily had scrawled down the respective details, heart thumping loudly in his chest.

After a long moment he laughed, all the stress he had been feeling for the last while seeming to drain from his body, leaving a giddy, boneless sensation. He dropped the letter and buried his head in his hands, scrubbing at his eyes and bristly cheeks.

"Can I safely say this is a Christmas miracle?" Lupin asked dryly.

"I think so," Sirius replied, smiling for the first time in weeks. "I really do…"

* * *

><p>It had been hours since Lupin wandered off to bed but Sirius was wide-awake, duvet tucked around him as he lay on the couch, eyes locked on the water-marked ceiling. Snow was falling outside, coating everything in a mushy layer of white. Lupin had few Christmas decorations up, but he could honestly say it felt more Christmas-y than he could ever remember his own house feeling.<p>

He had called James not minutes after Lupin showing him the number, despite the late hour, so relieved to hear his best friend's voice – even if he was cursing at first for being dragged out of bed. He had quickly changed his tune upon realising who was calling, equally relieved to hear from him. Regulus had apparently told him about the disownment when he couldn't get a hold of him and he had been worried sick ever since, unable to see or speak to him.

They had made plans for James to meet him halfway the next day – or later that day, really – and while he felt bad for intruding on his Christmas with Lily, she had insisted on him coming when James passed the phone over. He wasn't really sure what was said after that since Lily spoke to Lupin for a long while, but he happy to finally have everything sorted out.

He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply when he heard bed-springs creak and then soft footsteps down the hall. The bathroom light flickered on and then the door slid shut.

He didn't know what would happen after that, but he knew for certain that when he had his life in order; a job and a place to call his own, he would be hurrying back to give Lupin a proper thanks. It was obvious he didn't see the whole situation as a big deal, but Sirius knew things could have gotten nasty without Lupi—_Remus_ doing such a seemingly simple thing as offering him his couch for the night.

Sirius smirked into the darkness, listening as Remus stumbled sleepily back to bed. He couldn't wait until he could come back.

After all, all good deeds deserved to be rewarded. Generously.

Remus wouldn't know what had hit him.

**Finis. **

* * *

><p>O' WolfStar shipper NeonDomino – Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope you liked – it was certainly fun to write! :) [When I wasn't banging my head against my keyboard because Sirius was being an arsehole and refusing to do what I wanted…]<p>

Side note: Title ["How To Save A Life"] is a song by The Fray.

Trivia: The Walkman was apparently sold as the 'Stowaway' in the UK. For anyone who doesn't know, Lupus is an incurable autoimmune disease. Taken from the internet:

Lupus makes the immune system unable to differentiate between antigens (a substance capable of inducing a specific immune response) and healthy tissue. This leads the immune system to direct antibodies against the healthy tissue - not just antigens - causing swelling, pain, and tissue damage.

The rash Sirius mentioned is called a 'butterfly rash'. It's common in Lupus patients.


End file.
